Friday, February 15, 2013

My Life Story - Part 1

Alright, so I know y'all are going to be going into shock right now as I am putting up a new post right now, especially at this early hour, but I just felt like it was needed. I'm going to break it all to you straight, I'M RUN DOWN.

I know you are all in the dark as to why, so that is what this post is all about... and I apologize in advance for the length and will probably split up the story to a few entries. For the past 3, almost 4 years my life has been a living hell. You know when you are watching a movie full of cops and such, and you are thinking to yourself, WOW, I don't know if I could live through that... well my family just did.

Intro
My dad, due to deep residing hatred against CRA for stealing millions of dollars back in '95 decided to not pay income taxes. He filed zero's on his tax returns, and my mom did as well to keep our family together. This of course had to come to an end at some point, and in November of 2009 they (meaning cops, family services, CRA employees, as well as who knows else) raided our home and seized all of my dad's paperwork as well as went through EVERYTHING in the house. And I mean everything.

I was at in class at the time at the Christian School in town. I was currently in grade 10, and had no idea what was happening just 4 km away. The secretary came to my class and asked to see me, which was strange because that wasn't something that ever happened. The worst scenarios were going through my head... my parents died in a car accident, my brother died from a drug overdose, my grandfather passed away... I never imagined what would happen next.

She brought me to the office and said that I had a visitor that wished to speak to me... and at this I was extremely confused... like more than normal. She brought me to the principle's office and introduced me to a family service representative. She seemed nice and all, but I was a little confuzzled (yes that is a word) as to why she was visiting me. I mean, my parents weren't child beaters.... so what was this all about.

I soon got my answer as she explained that they were investigating my family as we were brought to their attention. She wouldn't say by whom or why, but I just went along with it. She proceeded for the next hour to pump me with questions about how my parents raised me, how they treated us kids, how we were punished etc. Now I will be the first to say that I got MANY whippings and other various forms of disciplining as a child (including the removal of books for two weeks :P), but I know that I deserved them in some way, shape or form. I knew my parents loved me, and were trying to raise me to become the God-fearing woman that I am now. Nearing the end of the hour she asked me when the last time my parents had punished me with the belt. I of course answered with as much truth as possible in saying it had been a while, but how long I had no idea.

Even at the age I was, I knew that the wrong answer could put us kids in a relative's residence... and that scared me. I was "careful" with everything I said, fearing what she was writing in that notepad of hers. Little did I know that my older brother Caleb, by 1.5 years, was in the room beside mine also talking to a family service rep. He was grilled the same way, and I am assuming answered in the same form as me.

She finally allowed me to return to my class, in which I had a hard time acting like life was normal and that it wasn't just about to fall apart! I sat through the remaining hour of class and waited anxiously for my mom to pick me up, all the while pretty much ignoring my friends around me. The moment I got into the vehicle I knew life wouldn't be the same again. She drove Caleb and I home, all the while explaining what was going on. She seemed shocked to find out that we had been talked to already, and was furious that she was not told by family services before they spoke to us. And the funny thing was, that we were both told that our parents were told about our meeting and were fine with it.

The Home Scene

I was in for the shock of my life when we drove onto the driveway and discovered about 20 cop cars as well as about another 10 civilian cars on our driveway and street, some with the lights still flashing. My mom informed my brother and I to pack up about a weeks worth of clothes and anything else we would need because we were moving into a family friend's house for the time being.

Our view off the back of the property
When I walked into my room I felt completely violated. There were two people in there going through my journals as well as my books and clothing. They didn't necessarily "mess" anything up, but you could tell where they had been already as things were shifted. I don't know if you have ever experienced something like that, but I don't wish to experience it again. Gives me the shivers remembering.

I packed my clothes and grabbed all my school stuff as well as some books and my volleyball gear. I remember grabbing some shirts as my mom walked into my room and looked at me with huge tears in her eyes. She just stood in the doorway, looking about to break into pieces, and the only thing I could do was go to her and give her the biggest hug ever and tell her that everything would be OK,  and that we just had to pray.

Once ready, she drove us over 3 blocks and dropped us off, all the while telling us she would be by soon to check up on us. To keep this portion of the story from going on forever... I am going to hurry it up and just say that we lived there for a month and a half while my parents fixed an "apparent mold problem" that could be "SMELLED" from the upstairs to the downstairs (not actually possible) as well as correct some of the wiring and electrical in the house that was unfinished as we were in the middle of a renovation.

I am about to sign off for now as I don't think I can write any more as I am super exhausted but I will either write some more tomorrow or Saturday, and let you know a little bit more about my crazy story, and how God made it possible for me to continue to live one more day at a time.

Feelin' a little blue,
Not-So-Princess Lizzy

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