Wednesday, October 19, 2011

Life Apart

Are there ever moments in life when you just want it all to be done with and there be no issues in your life. I think we all have those moments. Right now I am struggling with so many things that it is just not funny. Honestly, I live my life and it just seems like everything is against me.

Let me start at the beginning.

I already told you about my boyfriend. Well, it is so complicated now. I am over 1000 km away from him so I dont exactly get to see him every day, or every other day even. Honestly, for the past two weeks we haven't skyped and I was getting so frustrated because he was always so busy. Yes I was busy too, but atleast I would try to skype him. Then when he was free, I wasn't. We text all the time, but then again, not that much because we are just so busy. I just have no idea where this is going.

Absolutely Confused 
I got into a relationship with 2 weeks of actually being with him and dating, and then I left and moved away. So pretty much it is purely long distance. I mean I really like him, but the question, do I love him? I dunno. We are two months in and I don't know if I want to stay with him forever. For me, dating is to figure out if you want to marry him, and right now, I think my answer would be no, but how am I to know for sure. Like, what if I am only thinking with logic rather than my heart? What if God wants me to be with him? Every time I try to talk to him about it, he is like, "yeah we need to talk" but he doesn't say what is on his mind. One time he just said that he can tell I am stressed and it is coming out in what I am saying. UGH.

I was told that dating was fun, well, this isn't! I am just so confused by everything. Do I stay with him? Do I break up? I just don't know. When do we learn and find out what we are supposed to do. I know that each relationship is different, but I want guidance. Am I thinking too much about myself, and not about others. I don't know anything anymore. If any of you have advice, please give it. I don't want to break up because I like him, but does it go further than that? Will it ever? I don't know, and I don't know if I can see him in my future because of where he wants to live and I can't live there due to asthma. Am I being selfish?

At times I feel like he is becoming clingy, but maybe it is just because he misses me. I have absolutely no idea. Right now, I am straight up confused. Aren't girls supposed to feel like princesses when they have a boyfriend that is super sweet and says the nices things to you. Well right now, when he says nice things I feel like absolute crap, so guess that fairy tale is wrong. HELP

Completely and absolutely confused,
Not-So-Princess Lizzy

1 comment:

Blogging with Adventure said...

No you are not being s selfish about the asthma. Real love would make the sacrifice to live where you asthma would do best. I know. I have Chronic asthma and married wrong. I was not a Christian, but it has been hard because my husband does not consider my condition at all.I do not know how old you are at this point, but your boyfriend doe not seem ready fro true and lasting commitment. there are no true fairy tale princess relationships on earth. Only through Jesus Christ can we be a princess. Read on princess Diana, her prince was a frog and still is. It is nice for you to lay your hear out here. I have a teenage daughter that struggles with this stuff also.I will pray for you.