Meditation

For another required thing I have to for school is journal about my experience as I used discursive meditation for a passage in the bible. I really felt God calling me to meditate on Matthew 6:25-33. The only way I will remember anything is to write down as I meditate, so get ready for a bunch of jumble.

Jesus is talking to his disciples on a mountainside.  The sky is clear, it smells fresh and clean. I can hear the birds in the air. I really wish that I had a pen to write down everything Jesus is saying, or maybe I do, I'm not quite sure about that. I know that Jesus is my saviour, but the rest of the disciples don’t know that yet. I can’t get enough of what he has just said. Gross, the grass is wet and is making my clothes damp. Guess I didn't notice as I have been sitting here for a while. I wonder what happened to all he people following Jesus, where did they go. Did they not see us go up here on the hillside, curious? It is a nice day, not too warm or cold; just perfect if you ask me. You know that smell when you are outside and it just smells like it is growing? Well that is what it smells like here; fresh.  

Jesus has been talking a while on being quiet about our prayer and our giving. This is so different from what I am used to! All my life I grew up thinking that we were supposed to be vocal about our prayers, using extravagant words and everything and make public displays of donation so that people will praise us, but no. That is all wrong. Suddenly Jesus came to the section that most astonished me! How can someone talk like this? I just sit here listening, my attention never wavering. 

"For this reason I say to you, do not be worried about your life, as to what you will eat or what you will drink; nor for your body, as to what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds of the air, that they do not sow, nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not worth much more than they?

And who of you by being worried can add a single hour to his life? And why are you worried about clothing? Observe how the lilies of the field grow; they do not toil nor do they spin, yet I say to you that not even Solomon in all his glory clothed himself like one of these. But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which is alive today and tomorrow is thrown into the furnace, will He not much more clothe you? You of little faith! 

Do not worry then, saying, 'What will we eat?' or 'What will we drink?' or "What will we wear for clothing?' For the Gentiles eagerly seek all these things; for you heavenly Father knows that you need all these things. But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. So do not worry about tomorrow; for tomorrow will care for itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."

Does this mean that I have to trust that everything will be provided for me? So often I wake up and worry about what people will think about what I am wearing or how I appear. At times I worry about where the food will come from or how I will make enough to pay for my rent. I don’t know if I can just give it all up to him. It is easier to hold those things close and not let others know about them, so to fully give it up to God is so hard. I want to ask Jesus about what I should do if he doesn’t provide. What if I trusted in him and I didn’t get fed, or had enough to pay my rent and get kicked out. What do I do then?

So that was the end of the assignment. Hope you guys learned something from my rambling :)

Meditating,

Not-So-Princess Lizzy