A Lasting Legacy

Sorry for the pause between my posts. I have had the most busy week of my life. No joke. Let me tell you about it.

From July 16-20th I had VBS at my church. This means that I was up at 5am and wouldn't get to sleep till super late. Oh. I just realized that some of you may not know what VBS is. It stands for Vacation Bible School. It usually lasts a week and is jam packed with fun songs, activities, stories, crafts, games, and videos. Kids just love to learn more about God during this time, and the easy Bible points and verses make it easy for them to remember.

So anyways, I was just working with my church for VBS. The week before was so busy, I worked 70 hours. I don't know if I could have survived one more hour! Then this week came along and I worked another 60 hours. I don't know how I did it, but with God's assistance I made it out alive.

Who knew VBS takes so much planning? We did SKY, where everything is possible with God. It was all about Trusting God through everything. No matter who you are, how you feel, what people say, what happens, or where you are... you need to TRUST GOD!

This year we had 98 kids that came! This was way more than ever before, and many of them had never seen a bible or heard about Christ Jesus, who had died for them. The Gideon's sent us New Testament Bibles, which we got to give to all of the children as well.

It was funny though, Satan was definitely hard a work around us. He sent people to complain about the stupidest things; the food, money, and other inconsequential details. It was definitely a time to practice patience and trust.

Something that I was reminded of today during bible study is that we are leaving a legacy behind us, but what kind are we leaving? I thought of VBS and how the children look up to the leaders. I had a main part in VBS, being a leader on stage. Each morning of VBS there was a skit that took place, and I had the privilege to be the main character. The kids saw me throughout the morning, and would always say hi to me, tell me they loved me and thought I was funny.

The more I think about this, the more I realize that I need to leave that kind of impression everywhere I go. I need to live out my faith in God, be the best I can be so that others can learn from my experiences and examples, and eventually turn their life over to Christ.

So the bible study today about having a good lasting legacy made me think about how I am acting around others and what people remember about me when I am no longer around. Maybe I need to start to consider changing the legacy I am leaving... Just some food to chew on.

Pondering life
Not-So-Princess Lizzy

The Long Journey...

What a busy time and frustrating time summer is. I can't even think without having something blow up in my face. As you all know I am the intern with my church here in town. VBS is only 6 days away!!! It is crunch time and I am getting absolutely tired. I have worked 14 hours every day for the past week and a half, and next week is going to be worse! 

It may not be the worst hours every, but it is so draining. What I do every day is make sure we have all of the donations we need, I organize them, I make lists for everything we have and all of the volunteers we are acquiring as well as all of the participants. I have had to go through all of the curriculum and make sure that everything is the way we want it. This past week I have been helping a lot with decorations, climbing on 12 foot + ladders to put signs up, huge 3D planes and such. I am breaking a sweat just thinking about it. 

Well I guess the thing that has been bothering me about VBS is that I feel Satan's constant attack. It is true that he prowls about like a roaring lion looking for prey to devour. He can tell we are doing the Lord's work and he is attacking at all sides to stop us from reaching these kids. Let me tell you a little bit about what has been going on, with no names of course :P 

"Be of sober spirit, be on the alert. Your adversary, the devil, prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour." 

                                                 - 1 Peter 5:8

So, to begin with my grandfather has been placed in a home. I don't remember if I mentioned it before hand, but he has vascular dementia and Alzheimer's. It has slowly getting worse, and since I stayed with them last summer it has gotten so bad. He doesn't remember his own daughters, and sometimes he can't figure out how to open a door or hold cutlery properly. If you knew him you would realize how foreign this is for him. He used to complain about how everyone didn't know how to properly hold a spoon whilst eating soup (there is a certain way to do so). Anyways, for him to not know this, to not recognize his wife of over 50 years, it is extremely disheartening. He can't remember days, or keep track of time. He can't cloth himself and is so dangerous to have around. He actually began to threaten everyone before we managed to place him in a lock down security home just a couple of days ago.

The second thing that I noticed was some stuff surrounding my family. I can't explain online due to confidentiality stuff, even though I would like to. Well anyways, there is a big closing date coming up, but the stress from the possible outcome is eating me and the rest of my family alive. We honestly can't breathe until this all gets cleared up. We are definitely praying that it comes to a close. 

Thirdly is a whole new situation that we learned about on Sunday. My uncle had an affair with someone for 5 months and the way that it was discovered was not exactly pleasant. Now there are emotions running rampant throughout the family; of distrust, hatred, disgust, and depression. Honestly I don't know what hurts more, the fact that that he did he betrayed the family, or that everyone is counselling for a divorce to happen after 36 years of marriage. So this has been on my mind, causing me to have little sleep, and distracting me from God's Kingdom work (VBS). 

One thing that has really been frustrating me is that because I am only the intern here at work I am not treated the same as, say, the rest of the staff on pay roll. Mostly because I am only 18, just a few years older than a lot of the younger leaders' children. This past week my supervisor and I have been extremely frustrated because of the way we were treated (mostly me) towards an issue for VBS. We thankfully worked it out, and God has been good, convicting those that didn't treat me the way they should have, but I still sometimes wish I was older.

Well anyways, with everything that is going on I just feel the weight continually crashing down. Oh. I almost forgot. Today when my boss and I went out for lunch, just to get out of the office, we stopped at a Christian establishment and right after we finished praying a couple beside us pulled out Taro cards (cards that are used for seeing into the future) and began reading them for each other. We both stopped eating and began praying loud enough that they could hear us if they tuned in. We prayed for God's protection and such and then we went inside, and found a pastor sitting right close by. Just as he was about to come and speak to them about doing that in the building they packed up and left! The feeling of unease that had swept over me since the first moment they pulled out those cards left. It was actually scary how affected everyone around us felt. 

So I guess what I am trying to say with everything that has been going on is that Satan is trying to distract my boss and I from doing His work. We have 90 kids signed up for VBS, 25 in preschool with 3 on a waiting list, and the rest in the elementary group. We have room for 100 and we start on Monday. We have never had this many kids for VBS before so it is incredible to see so many children, many unsaved coming to church to learn about Christ. Satan sees this as an opportunity to turn these little ones away from Christ, but we aren't letting some distractions in our life stop us. We have actually committed to praying with each other right when we get to the office, before work distracts us as well. 

The amazing peace that has come over us in the last couple of days has been incredible and the amount of donations that we have received are also overwhelming. We have an overflow of donations, enough that we can actually use some to pay for some of our fall children's ministry! 

I will continue to pray that we wont let Satan's distractions work and keep us from God's work. I will also continue to pray for those in my family and everything else that has been happening, including my one brother getting beaten up in a situation that he calls "spiritual" due to the bizarre nature of it. Absolutely unbelievable what Satan has attempted to do in my life recently, and it is due to these frustrating experiences that I know that I am doing what I am supposed to be doing. 

"Blessed are those who have been persecuted for the sake of righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. Blessed are you when people insult you and persecute you, and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me. Rejoice and be glad, for your reward in heaven is great; for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you." 

                                                                                                - Matthew 5:10-12

I will stand firm on His rock. I will trust in Him. I will not look to the right or the left, but only praise his name. 

Praising God through the storms,

Not-So-Princess Lizzie

Losing someone you love

I would like to bring an issue forwards to you all.

I know I told you a little about how my family life isn't the best right now. My mom is not around, and my dad, well let's just say he isn't really there either due to how much he has to work and such. Anyways, when I got back from college I didn't find the time or the energy to go and visit my best friend. I explained it to her, and she said she understood. We decided to take some time off as friends, give each other some space. And then, all of the sudden she messages me back and says she is disappointed in me, in the way I had been acting.

Let me just get things straight. I believe that I was and still am slightly struggling with depression, and she tells me that she is disappointed and that she wanted her money back. Wait.... let me back up. She and her mom decided to lend me some money for going to YWAM, which you know from a previous post is not going to happen. Anyways, when she saw that post, she decided she wanted her money back. Previous to this, when we decided to take a break she said she wanted to have most of it back but was going to let me keep about a third of it. I was very grateful for that. I was just about to email her about giving her the rest back when she saw my post, and got all mad, demanding to have the money back right away.

I would like to say right now that I had used that money to help my family pay the bills, the mortgage, and buy groceries. I didn't have that money. I politely told her that I was about to email her and that I would pay her back as soon as possible. She then went on a rant about how I had let her down, and that I was not the person she thought I was. I tried to calm her down, but she wouldn't listen. She just kept going on and on and on about how I was a disappointment and a failure as a friend.

I had been through every rough patch together with her. We were best friends since grade 7. We stuck together, even when we were angry or frustrated with each other. I am a loyal person. When I told her I couldn't pay her back right away she got even more frustrated and so I told her that I would give her as much as I could, when I could. She agreed, giving me two weeks to get the most of it.

I do have a job right now, but it isn't like I am making loads of money. She then told me that if I didn't get that money to her by the middle of July, then she would require for me to cancel my backpacking trip, refund my flight tickets, and pay her back. Before this moment I had attempted to be as friendly as possible, not fighting back, only trying to keep our somewhat friendship intact, but my actions after this point perhaps weren't the best.

I was so hurt, felt so rejected, that I started to cry. She knew about my story. She knew that I had a hard time trusting people. That I struggled with rejection because of my childhood, and she still threw me in the dirt and trampled on me. She told me that she couldn't be my friend anymore because I was never there for her, that I never helped her with anything. She felt it was a one sided relationship, but she was wrong. I would have done anything for her. I would have laid down my life, but I just felt like my family at that point needed me more than she did, and I didn't have the energy to lay myself out there for both my family and for her. I was too drained already.

Every message since then from her has been about money. I try and be polite in my messages with her, but she makes it so hard. "When is my next payment" and "You still owe me $200". I am afraid I blew up at her today. I sent not the most polite message this afternoon to her after she asked when I was sending her the rest of the money in that robot message of hers. I know she already thinks the worst of me, but I hope that someday she can see how I feel in this situation.

I know everything isn't about me, but no matter how I pray about this, I just feel more rejected than comforted by God. I don't mean to make my troubles seem more important than hers but I don't know what to do right now. I was on the verge of breaking when I came home from college. I had gained so much knowledge and faith, and my cup was full; suddenly my family came along, and they drank my cup and I was empty again and my best friend wanted more, something I couldn't give. She asked me to do a simple thing, but I just couldn't. I was about to break. And she will hate me forever more from that point on because she thinks I am stuck up and self-centered.

I just don't know if I am doing the right thing. I know the email I sent was perhaps not the best idea, but I am usually not the person to stand up for what I am feeling. I let people run over me, and I couldn't do it anymore. I had been feeling so drained already by her, her complaints, and her need to always be right, to always be better than me. I was sick of it. Not everything was a competition. So what if I was better at something than she was. I didn't care. I just wanted to do my best. It got to the point where I numbed myself down for her. I couldn't do it anymore.

I keep praying, trying to find a way to forgive myself. I know that I already forgive her. She is an only child, it was the way she was raised, the way she has been thinking her whole life. She wants something, she gets it. She doesn't like something, someone changes it for her. I just hope someday that she will come to realize that. I forgive her, but I don't know if I could ever trust her again. Not after what happened.

I will continue to pray, find hope in Christ, and I will pray for her too, that she will find the same peace that I have discovered in God. I don't know how strong her faith is, it wasn't something we talked about a lot, but I will definitely pray.

Feeling slightly unsure and afraid,

Not-So-Princess Lizzy

Gluten Free Dairy Free Chewy Chocolate Chip Cookies

Alright,


All those out there that have gluten or dairy allergies, about to be amazed by these astounding cookies. I changed it a little, making them taste absolutely amazing. 


My family can attest that I complain on a daily bases about not being able to have gluten or dairy. I guess it is my downfall, not being happy with what I what I have. So I think God sent me this recipe just to cheer me up. I found this recipe, altered it a bit due to my own experiments. You can try it the original way, or you can try my recipe. ENJOY


Gluten Free Dairy Free Chewy Chocolate Chip Cookies


Ingredients:

2 1/4 C. gluten free flour (I use 1 3/4 C. Jeanne's Gluten-Free Flour Mix

     1/4 C. coconut flour, 1/4 C. almond flour)

1 tsp. baking powder

1 tsp. baking soda

pinch of salt

1/2 tsp. xanthan gum

3/4 C. dairy free butter (I use 1/2 C. ghee, 1/4 C. coconut oil)

1 1/4 C. granulated sugar (I use organic cane sugar - due to sugar allergies)

3 medium eggs (or two large eggs)

2 tsp. vanilla

12 oz semi-sweet chocolate chunks or chips (I use mini chocolate chips as they melt better)


Method:

Heat oven to 375°F.

Line 2 baking sheets with parchment paper (or a silpat if you have one) to prevent the cookies from sticking.

Combine all dry ingredients (except the sugar) in a medium bowl and set aside.

Cream butter and sugar in large bowl until light in colour and fluffy/creamy.  Scrape sides of bowl often.

Add eggs and vanilla. Continue beating, scraping bowl often, until well mixed.

Reduce speed to low and gradually adding flour mixture, until well mixed.

Remove from mixer and gently stir in chocolate chips with a spatula.

Drop dough onto parchment paper either by rounded tablespoonfuls or with an ice cream scoop.  Make sure they are about 2 inches apart to prevent them from running together while baking.

Bake for 12 minutes or until light golden brown.

Let stand in baking sheets until cool and solid enough to handle, then remove from sheets and allow to cool completely on a wire cookie rack.

Store in an airtight container.

Enjoy!

Note: This is my gluten-free flour mix

Jeanne's Gluten Free Flour Mix

1 1/4 C. brown rice flour

1 1/4 C. white rice flour

1 C. tapioca flour

1 C. sweet rice flour (also known as Mochiko)

2 scant tsp. xanthan gum

Store in an airtight container.

Enjoy

Long Time

So. I know that it has been a long time since I have posted, and for that I am really sorry. Life gets busy. What can I say? Anyways, I am hopefully back for good. I will be posting a lot of recipes in the next little while because I love baking and I want to find some really good gluten-free, dairy-free, and mostly sugar-free recipes. Who knows. We will hopefully discover some great recipes along the way.

I guess I should update you all. I was originally planning on going to England in September for YWAM (Youth With A Mission). Right now that plan has been put on hold because I have realized what I want to do with my future. I am hoping on becoming an Event Planner. I don't know what side of that I may be, whether it is a Wedding Planner or Planning stuff with hotel conference rooms, what I do know is that I am excited for this future that I have found and I hope that I can help others in it.

What I do need is to get 2 courses that I didn't finish in High School done because I did not think I would need them..... guess I was wrong. But hey, that happens when you skip a grade. So I will intern with my church this summer. Oh. I forgot to tell you that too. I am interning with my church hopefully this summer, I have to talk to my Pastor on Monday about how that will work with my messed up schedule. For the internship to work the church needed a grant from the government, and for the church to get that grant they need someone that is going to be coming out of school and going in to school, now since I haven't been accepted and some university or college for business courses, we will have to see how that will work out. Cross our fingers right?

Well anyways, if I get the internship still, then everything will work out. I will take the courses online and work full time with the church. I will then figure out where to go to school... that is the tough one I think. Do I try and apply in Calgary at U of C or Mt. Royal, or do I just stick with the college near home in Kelowna? I am just not sure.

I should also tell you about college at CBC. It was one of the best years of my life. I had so much fun, made a few really good friends, and learned so much about my faith and about myself. Who knew there was so much to learn. The pictures I posted with this post are from a photo shoot we did before we all left. I will definitely miss everyone so much and these pictures will get me through missing them.

So this is the first post of Summer 2012, and you should expect to hear more coming soon.

Looking brightly to the future,
Not-So-Princess Lizzy