Moving Out, and Moving On

Alright, so I originally named this blog A Girl's Step Up because I wanted to move on from the past. Take the few steps needed to get out of the the garbage dump that had become my life. That was when I went to school... and after college I moved back home, I, for the sole purpose of assisting others, willingly jumped back into the mire. I felt God call me to be at home, and it was a learning process that I in turn was blessed by. The time came though, when my dad was released from prison into a halfway house an hour from where I lived with my mom and brother, that I knew it was time to move out and move on.

So what does that mean? Move out and move on. Sounds so final. So unforgiving. It wasn't that at all. I love my family, and even though they put me through hell, and have scarred me for life with issues that I will have to work through, I would move mountains for them.

In reality, all I mean by that statement is leaving the past in the past. Not allowing it to decide our future. My situation could have a double meaning as I did move out of my parents house, and am now living on my own, which I recommend for everyone to do before they decide to get married. I am also moving out of the mind set of accepting my life for what it was, and not actively pursuing a change. I had no idea the amount of damage I had hidden in my heart until I was forced to confront it. A really important person in my life pulled me aside and told me that they had to actively restrain themselves from getting mad at those in my family for the way they treat each other and me. I had no idea there was a better option. I didn't know my family could have tackled life differently.

I had grown up with the thought that people showed love through their love language (whatever that may be) and that they couldn't really change that. This person kindly, but forcefully showed me that I wasn't being met, I wasn't being filled because no one in my family was giving love to me in my love language. They were too caught up in accepting the love that they received to notice that they weren't returning the favor of stepping out of their comfort zone, and perhaps showing love in a way that was different for them.

The transition between Spring & Summer - reminding me that
when we move on, we get to see more beauty. Spring
is more than just cleaning, it is also a glimpse at the beauty
to come. 

This wasn't an easy process, and it can't say that my eyes stayed dry, or have been completely dry for weeks now. I decided to get a counselor, which has been so helpful! I have never been so challenged spiritually, emotionally, & relationally, as I have been the last few weeks working through issues that have plagued me my whole life.

I have been learning all over again that I really do need to give everything to God, and trust in Him. I need to find my encouragement in Him and to do that I need to work through the past and look to the future. As I am working through these issues, such as boundaries and abandonment, I am discovering more of who I am as a person, and what I want my future to look like. This verse really impacted me earlier when I read it, and I just wanted to share it with you guys.

"Finally, be strong in the Lord and in the strength of His might. Put on the full armor of God, so that you will be able to stand firm against the schemes of the devil. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the powers, against the world forces of this darkness, against the spiritual forces of wickedness in the heavenly places. Therefore, take up the full armor of God, so that you will be able to resist in the evil day, and having done everything, to stand firm. Stand firm therefore, having girded your loins with truth, and having put on the breastplate of righteousness, and having shod your feet with the preparation of the gospel of peace; in addition to all, taking up the shield of faith with which you will be able to extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. And take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.With all prayer and petition pray at all times in the Spirit, and with this in view, be on the alert with all perseverance and petition for all the saints." - Ephesians 6:10-18

Satan will constantly strive to bring us down, to not let us MOVE ON, but we can't let him. We have to stand strong in God, and to do that we need to be prepared. So everyone, drop your past, your sins, your weights that are holding you back. See a counselor or someone that you can truly confide in if you need to, but you got to get rid of that extra baggage if you are going to be able to fight to the end, to finish the race strong.

Feelin' rejuvenated,
Not-So-Princess Lizzy

Mod Podging Maps

Ok, so I have to tell you about this amazing craft that I saw on Pinterest and just had to try.

Since money is tight at our house, I decided to make Nathan (my brother who is now 14) a gift, rather than spending money. Now, he is a Lord of the Rings FANATIC! He has seen the movies a gazillion times, so I knew that I had to do something to do with that. When I saw this though,  I knew exactly what I wanted to do!

I went online and searched for Lord of the Rings maps. Now, I am telling you, this was not an easy thing to do! I had to find maps that were decent quality and size, so that if needed I could blow them up bigger. I didn't care if they were black and white, color toned, or sepia because you can always use Picmonkey if needed to alter the appearance of the photo.

I finally found 5 that I sort of liked... I printed them off, and narrowed it down to three.

The Realm of Middle Earth 

I then used Picmonkey and altered the background... so they then looked like the following (the large map I kept the same)

Mordor Before and After

Thror's Map Before and After

Thank goodness I somehow made them look alright, and printing them actually made it look better.

Alright, next step, I had to find the canvases to put them on. I decided to use 8"x10" for Mordor and Thror's Map. I wanted to have one bigger map, so I got a canvas that was 11"x14" and went to my church to print the map out onto an 11"x17" page. It took a few tries until I had it the size and shape that I wanted it (had to shrink the shape a tad bit) to be.

After all that, the rest was easy. I did a wash of a yellowish brown color on the background of the canvases, just to give it the aged appearance. Once that was dried I spread Mod Podge all over the canvas with my paint brush and placed my maps down on the canvas, spreading them out, erasing any bubbles. I actually ripped the edges of my maps to give it an interesting look, but you don't have to do that.

To make it even more aged, I spread the top coat of Mod Podge on before the bottom coat was dried, therefore getting the paper too wet, causing it to fade and wrinkle a tad bit. Here is the finished product, and I must say I am extremely happy with it, and so was Nathan... and every other person I showed it to haha.

The Perfect Gift,
Not-So-Princess Lizzy

My Life Story - Part 1

Alright, so I know y'all are going to be going into shock right now as I am putting up a new post right now, especially at this early hour, but I just felt like it was needed. I'm going to break it all to you straight, I'M RUN DOWN.

I know you are all in the dark as to why, so that is what this post is all about... and I apologize in advance for the length and will probably split up the story to a few entries. For the past 3, almost 4 years my life has been a living hell. You know when you are watching a movie full of cops and such, and you are thinking to yourself, WOW, I don't know if I could live through that... well my family just did.

Intro

My dad, due to deep residing hatred against CRA for stealing millions of dollars back in '95 decided to not pay income taxes. He filed zero's on his tax returns, and my mom did as well to keep our family together. This of course had to come to an end at some point, and in November of 2009 they (meaning cops, family services, CRA employees, as well as who knows else) raided our home and seized all of my dad's paperwork as well as went through EVERYTHING in the house. And I mean everything.

I was at in class at the time at the Christian School in town. I was currently in grade 10, and had no idea what was happening just 4 km away. The secretary came to my class and asked to see me, which was strange because that wasn't something that ever happened. The worst scenarios were going through my head... my parents died in a car accident, my brother died from a drug overdose, my grandfather passed away... I never imagined what would happen next.

She brought me to the office and said that I had a visitor that wished to speak to me... and at this I was extremely confused... like more than normal. She brought me to the principle's office and introduced me to a family service representative. She seemed nice and all, but I was a little confuzzled (yes that is a word) as to why she was visiting me. I mean, my parents weren't child beaters.... so what was this all about.

I soon got my answer as she explained that they were investigating my family as we were brought to their attention. She wouldn't say by whom or why, but I just went along with it. She proceeded for the next hour to pump me with questions about how my parents raised me, how they treated us kids, how we were punished etc. Now I will be the first to say that I got MANY whippings and other various forms of disciplining as a child (including the removal of books for two weeks :P), but I know that I deserved them in some way, shape or form. I knew my parents loved me, and were trying to raise me to become the God-fearing woman that I am now. Nearing the end of the hour she asked me when the last time my parents had punished me with the belt. I of course answered with as much truth as possible in saying it had been a while, but how long I had no idea.

Even at the age I was, I knew that the wrong answer could put us kids in a relative's residence... and that scared me. I was "careful" with everything I said, fearing what she was writing in that notepad of hers. Little did I know that my older brother Caleb, by 1.5 years, was in the room beside mine also talking to a family service rep. He was grilled the same way, and I am assuming answered in the same form as me.

She finally allowed me to return to my class, in which I had a hard time acting like life was normal and that it wasn't just about to fall apart! I sat through the remaining hour of class and waited anxiously for my mom to pick me up, all the while pretty much ignoring my friends around me. The moment I got into the vehicle I knew life wouldn't be the same again. She drove Caleb and I home, all the while explaining what was going on. She seemed shocked to find out that we had been talked to already, and was furious that she was not told by family services before they spoke to us. And the funny thing was, that we were both told that our parents were told about our meeting and were fine with it.

The Home Scene

I was in for the shock of my life when we drove onto the driveway and discovered about 20 cop cars as well as about another 10 civilian cars on our driveway and street, some with the lights still flashing. My mom informed my brother and I to pack up about a weeks worth of clothes and anything else we would need because we were moving into a family friend's house for the time being.

Our view off the back of the property

When I walked into my room I felt completely violated. There were two people in there going through my journals as well as my books and clothing. They didn't necessarily "mess" anything up, but you could tell where they had been already as things were shifted. I don't know if you have ever experienced something like that, but I don't wish to experience it again. Gives me the shivers remembering.

I packed my clothes and grabbed all my school stuff as well as some books and my volleyball gear. I remember grabbing some shirts as my mom walked into my room and looked at me with huge tears in her eyes. She just stood in the doorway, looking about to break into pieces, and the only thing I could do was go to her and give her the biggest hug ever and tell her that everything would be OK,  and that we just had to pray.

Once ready, she drove us over 3 blocks and dropped us off, all the while telling us she would be by soon to check up on us. To keep this portion of the story from going on forever... I am going to hurry it up and just say that we lived there for a month and a half while my parents fixed an "apparent mold problem" that could be "SMELLED" from the upstairs to the downstairs (not actually possible) as well as correct some of the wiring and electrical in the house that was unfinished as we were in the middle of a renovation.

I am about to sign off for now as I don't think I can write any more as I am super exhausted but I will either write some more tomorrow or Saturday, and let you know a little bit more about my crazy story, and how God made it possible for me to continue to live one more day at a time.

Feelin' a little blue,
Not-So-Princess Lizzy

The Long Journey...

What a busy time and frustrating time summer is. I can't even think without having something blow up in my face. As you all know I am the intern with my church here in town. VBS is only 6 days away!!! It is crunch time and I am getting absolutely tired. I have worked 14 hours every day for the past week and a half, and next week is going to be worse! 

It may not be the worst hours every, but it is so draining. What I do every day is make sure we have all of the donations we need, I organize them, I make lists for everything we have and all of the volunteers we are acquiring as well as all of the participants. I have had to go through all of the curriculum and make sure that everything is the way we want it. This past week I have been helping a lot with decorations, climbing on 12 foot + ladders to put signs up, huge 3D planes and such. I am breaking a sweat just thinking about it. 

Well I guess the thing that has been bothering me about VBS is that I feel Satan's constant attack. It is true that he prowls about like a roaring lion looking for prey to devour. He can tell we are doing the Lord's work and he is attacking at all sides to stop us from reaching these kids. Let me tell you a little bit about what has been going on, with no names of course :P 

"Be of sober spirit, be on the alert. Your adversary, the devil, prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour." 

                                                 - 1 Peter 5:8

So, to begin with my grandfather has been placed in a home. I don't remember if I mentioned it before hand, but he has vascular dementia and Alzheimer's. It has slowly getting worse, and since I stayed with them last summer it has gotten so bad. He doesn't remember his own daughters, and sometimes he can't figure out how to open a door or hold cutlery properly. If you knew him you would realize how foreign this is for him. He used to complain about how everyone didn't know how to properly hold a spoon whilst eating soup (there is a certain way to do so). Anyways, for him to not know this, to not recognize his wife of over 50 years, it is extremely disheartening. He can't remember days, or keep track of time. He can't cloth himself and is so dangerous to have around. He actually began to threaten everyone before we managed to place him in a lock down security home just a couple of days ago.

The second thing that I noticed was some stuff surrounding my family. I can't explain online due to confidentiality stuff, even though I would like to. Well anyways, there is a big closing date coming up, but the stress from the possible outcome is eating me and the rest of my family alive. We honestly can't breathe until this all gets cleared up. We are definitely praying that it comes to a close. 

Thirdly is a whole new situation that we learned about on Sunday. My uncle had an affair with someone for 5 months and the way that it was discovered was not exactly pleasant. Now there are emotions running rampant throughout the family; of distrust, hatred, disgust, and depression. Honestly I don't know what hurts more, the fact that that he did he betrayed the family, or that everyone is counselling for a divorce to happen after 36 years of marriage. So this has been on my mind, causing me to have little sleep, and distracting me from God's Kingdom work (VBS). 

One thing that has really been frustrating me is that because I am only the intern here at work I am not treated the same as, say, the rest of the staff on pay roll. Mostly because I am only 18, just a few years older than a lot of the younger leaders' children. This past week my supervisor and I have been extremely frustrated because of the way we were treated (mostly me) towards an issue for VBS. We thankfully worked it out, and God has been good, convicting those that didn't treat me the way they should have, but I still sometimes wish I was older.

Well anyways, with everything that is going on I just feel the weight continually crashing down. Oh. I almost forgot. Today when my boss and I went out for lunch, just to get out of the office, we stopped at a Christian establishment and right after we finished praying a couple beside us pulled out Taro cards (cards that are used for seeing into the future) and began reading them for each other. We both stopped eating and began praying loud enough that they could hear us if they tuned in. We prayed for God's protection and such and then we went inside, and found a pastor sitting right close by. Just as he was about to come and speak to them about doing that in the building they packed up and left! The feeling of unease that had swept over me since the first moment they pulled out those cards left. It was actually scary how affected everyone around us felt. 

So I guess what I am trying to say with everything that has been going on is that Satan is trying to distract my boss and I from doing His work. We have 90 kids signed up for VBS, 25 in preschool with 3 on a waiting list, and the rest in the elementary group. We have room for 100 and we start on Monday. We have never had this many kids for VBS before so it is incredible to see so many children, many unsaved coming to church to learn about Christ. Satan sees this as an opportunity to turn these little ones away from Christ, but we aren't letting some distractions in our life stop us. We have actually committed to praying with each other right when we get to the office, before work distracts us as well. 

The amazing peace that has come over us in the last couple of days has been incredible and the amount of donations that we have received are also overwhelming. We have an overflow of donations, enough that we can actually use some to pay for some of our fall children's ministry! 

I will continue to pray that we wont let Satan's distractions work and keep us from God's work. I will also continue to pray for those in my family and everything else that has been happening, including my one brother getting beaten up in a situation that he calls "spiritual" due to the bizarre nature of it. Absolutely unbelievable what Satan has attempted to do in my life recently, and it is due to these frustrating experiences that I know that I am doing what I am supposed to be doing. 

"Blessed are those who have been persecuted for the sake of righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. Blessed are you when people insult you and persecute you, and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me. Rejoice and be glad, for your reward in heaven is great; for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you." 

                                                                                                - Matthew 5:10-12

I will stand firm on His rock. I will trust in Him. I will not look to the right or the left, but only praise his name. 

Praising God through the storms,

Not-So-Princess Lizzie

Shopping

I have some great news everyone!!!!

So I know that all of you may not have allergies, but this is great information to know, so I just want to post everything I learned today, which was a lot.

I live in this city called Vernon, up in British Columbia, which for all those people out there who don't know Canada, is on the western end, in the Okanagan. This is where a lot of wines come out of, this beautiful area.

Anyways, let's move on from climate lol. As I was saying, I live in Vernon, and there are these two fantastic stores that I have to tell you about. Simply Delicious and Natures Fair. These are the specialty stores in town, the ones that hold most of the bulk foods and allergy foods.

So today, as I was shopping I decided to browse a little bit more, try to see what else there might have been to buy, and I was so amazed! I found so many things that I have been so upset about never having again. I found yogurt that I can have (they had almond and coconut), which I was super stoked about. They also had a butter spread that has no dairy that also has no soy in, which I prefer to stay away from anyways. I am hoping I will be able to use the spread in baking, but I am not quite sure if I can do that yet, as they had diary free baking sticks as well but were not on sale.

So on top of all of this, I found diary free, soy free cheese that I am so excited to try on gluten free pizza. I have a recipe for this pizza dough, so I will have to post and tell you how it went. I have not had pizza in over 3 years, so I can assure you I am super excited.

So, something I was complaining about the other day was never having whipped cream ever again in my life as there is no dairy free whipping cream that I could have. I FOUND SOME! It is this block of whipping cream. All you have to do is take as much as you want, and whip it for 4-5 minutes! When I read the ingredients I was so stoked that I almost screamed lol.

See, lately I have been getting down because it hits me over and over again how little I will be able to eat of what I used to. I mean, I can't have pudding because all the substitute milks don't make the pudding thicken. I have tried everything to fix that including adding corn starch to the baking puddings. Nothing works. It just stays runny, and it is not the same. So today when I discovered all of these new food products I realized that maybe there was more out there that I can have I just haven't found it yet. I will have to keep exploring and tasting and keep you updated on that. An answer to prayer I  must say; a prayer for my sanity.

Praying I don't eat to much,
Not-So-Princess Lizzy

Christmas

So.... How was everyone's Christmas?

I have to say that mine was half decent, but this year it has not felt like Christmas at all. It is the strangest thing! It makes someone begin to really think about it. Why does it not feel like Christmas? I had to think about this, and I just realized it now. It is because it is no longer about Christ.

Did any of you know the real meaning of Merry Christmas? It is so often misunderstood. So many believe it is about Santa Claus, or about some guy name Scrooge. And the worst part, they are now changing the holiday name. Look around, any store, they will say happy holidays. The signs say the same thing. The trees are called holiday trees, not Christmas trees, and why is that? They are trying to hide what Christmas is really about.

The real meaning of the phrase Merry Christmas means the joyful and anxious return of the savior of the world Jesus Christ. Not some story about wisemen and shepherds and a baby with animals, but the savior of the world. Yes that is a part of the story, but Jesus didn't come so we could say that there was a baby in a manger, he came so we could proclaim to the world that he had saved us through his death. The two parts of the story should be put together. Yes, each season has a specific reason for the celebration, and yes Christmas was about Jesus' birth, but I have even found for myself that I forget the ultimate reason and just say that he was a baby born from a virgin because God decided to send his son to earth. Now I am sorry, but that sounds ridiculous if you don't give the rest of the story.

Now I know that I just talked about not doing this already, but I am going to post the Christmas story according to Luke 2, and I want you to really think about it. I am 17 years old and I have grown up with this story. But I so often forget to really think about this story. Read and absorb. :D

"And it came to pass in those days, that there went out a decree from Caesar Augustus that all the world should be taxed. (And this taxing was first made when Cyrenius was governor of Syria.) And all went to be taxed, everyone into his own city. And Joseph also went up form Galilee, out of the city of Nazareth, into Judaea, unto the city of David, which is called Bethlehem; (because he was of the house and lineage of David:) to be taxed with his espoused wife, being great with child. And so it was, that, while they were there, the days were accomplished that she should be delivered. And she brought forth her firstborn son, and wrapped him in swaddling clothes, and laid him in a manger; because there was no room for them in the inn. And there were in the same country shepherds abiding in the field, keeping watch over their flock by night. And, lo, the angel of the Lord came upon them, and the glory of the Lord shone round about them: and they were sore afraid. And the angel said unto them, Fear not: for, behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people. For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Savior, which is Christ the Lord. And this shall be a sign unto you; Ye shall find the babe wrapped in swaddling clothes, lying in a manger. And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host praising God, and saying, Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace, good will toward men. And it came to pass, as the angels were gone away from them into heaven, the shepherds said one to another, "Let us now go even unto Bethlehem, and see this thing which is come to pass, which  the Lord hath made known unto us". And they came with haste, and found Mary, and Joseph, and the babe lying in a manger. And when they had seen it, they made known abroad the saying which was told them concerning this child. And all they that heard it wondered at those things which were told them by the shepherds. But Mary kept all these things, and pondered them in her heart. And the shepherds returned, glorifying and praising God for all the things that they had heard and seen, as it was told unto them."  - Luke 2:1-20

Even More Confused

It seems I have been extremely bad with keeping up to date on my blogs. I have been going to college for the past 3.5 months, and if any of you have gone to college, you will know that it is not easy. I had so much homework that after a while I had no drive to actually write in my blog and even stopped reading novels, which will come as a surprise to many people who actually know me.

Anyways, I suppose I should fill you all in on my life. I broke up with my boyfriend. After all of the troubles that I had, I just couldn't deal with it. I was just too stressed out with who I was and not really knowing me at all. He ended up being immature in the end. If any of you can actually believe it, he refused to Skype or call me, so I broke up with him over text. YES! Text. My roommate was so mad she was threatening to get his cell number and call him herself. A guy shouldn't do that to a girl should they? I mean, I think that he thinks bad about me because I could not properly explain myself to him. How am I supposed to say what I am thinking when I am not very good at texting T9, and I have a limited amount of space per text, and he doesn't text back with anything useful to say. So that is my rant. I must warn all you girls out there, don't date someone that is the same age or close to, your own age until they are at least 20 because they are way to immature for you. Guys take longer to mature, which is a known fact, so don't settle for less than you already have.

So what else can I tell you? I know. I am so confused about this friend of mine. About a year and a half ago we were in the same class together, and I have to say that I really liked him. We would always tease each other and he tried to make fun of me so much. We had an easy friendship, and what can I say, I almost wanted it to be more. We would talk on Facebook for so long, but not long after we were talking he told me about this other girl he liked. Eventually they started dating, and what was I suppose to do.

Like any good girl, I backed off and became a friend for him, the ear that he needed. Some people were jealous and spread rumors about the girl he was dating. After a while of us talking and me trying to comfort him the best I could, he found out that some of the rumors were true. She had been cheating on him and had many risque relationships. He took it so hard, and I didn't know what to do for him except become his friend. We talked to late hours of the night. My friends at school began to tease me saying I liked him, but of course I denied it. I couldn't tell him that I liked him, not after his heart had been broken.

We drifted apart when he moved away, but suddenly he starts talking to me two weeks ago. We talk a lot now, and if I don't reply to a text after a while he will send me another one. I don't know what to think. Does he want something else from this relationship? Does he know how I felt before? I feel guilty for thinking about someone about a month after I broke up with my previous boyfriend, but I know this guy so much better than the other one. Do I risk something, when I don't know what is going to happen in my future due to money. I am so uncertain again. OF COURSE. It always happens to me this way. I get so confused. I just wish it would all be resolved.

As a girl I guess we always wish that guys liked us, but we don't want the consequences of what would happen if they did. I really want him to like me, but I don't know what I would do if he did. Ya know. Life is so confusing. I just don't know what to do and I wish that someone would help me with this. I continually pray, but I have to say, since it is Christmas it is hard to figure this out.

So once again I am lost and trying to figure this out on my own. Being home for Christmas is great, but I must say that I miss my roommate a lot and can't wait to get back. I will wait till this ridiculous season passes and I figure out a little bit more about me and my God this Christmas and then I will try and decipher where this relationship is going and what it means that he is seeking me out.

I have to go now, we haven't decorated the Christmas tree, and this year I have been designated to put the lights on. LUCKY ME! :P Everyone in my family hates that job, so I best get it done with. Thanks for listening to me ramble.

Once again, Lost and Confused,
Not-So-Princess Lizzy

Assignment

So, I guess you are really sick of my homework, but I can't help it. I don't know where else to journal. :) So here goes. Today I need to write down my prayers. You don't have to read if you don't want to.

Dear Lord,


Everything is starting to seem so hectic. I can't ever focus on my prayers. I start and then my mind wanders, and I am really sorry about that. I just want to thank you for allowing me to stay at college here. I am so tired of trying to find the funds and trying to come up with some money so that I can stay. The fact that my grandparents church is willing to give me money astounds me. How you could have put it on their hearts to be willing to give money to someone most of them do not know is so touching. I just don't know what to say about it. Lord, I want to thank you for everyone here at college. They are all so kind and no one is condescending or rude to me. I love working as a cashier in the kitchen on campus because I get to see so many faces, and can maybe bring a smile to a few of them. 


You have given me so much and I have given so little in return. I guess what I am trying to say is I don't know what to say. You have blessed me to the fullest extent and I can't give anything in return.


I would like to pray for a few things, and I know that you don't keep tabs of such things, but I want to thank you in advance. Please I pray for 3 people that I met online at powertochange.com. Thank you for allowing me to be a mentor there and I just pray that everyone that I meet will be willing to listen to what you have to say through me. Help Lou Lou with her addiction lord and help her realize that you love her and will help her overcome that addiction. Be with Cher as she struggles with deaths in her family who were not followers of you. And calm PC as she books an appointment with the doctor and discoveres why she is feeling so terrible all the time. Lord God I just pra that you will help these three women in their struggles and allow them to draw closer to you in their times of need.


I would like to thank you for my brother, for it is his birthday today, and you love him dearly. I just would like to ask that you would give him and his wife a good day and that he would feel your presence as he is beginning to age lol. 


I also would like to pray for the girls in my dorm unit at college. M is really struggling with addiction, and K is healing. L is trying to overcome the past. The rest of the girls - J, J, A, N, D, A, T haven't shared yet, but Lord I pray that you will guide their hearts and minds to know what you desire for them to share and that you will help others to understand what they are going through and comfort them. 


Thank you so much Lord, and I just pray that your will be done, and that you will have your hand in everything I mentioned  today.

Struggling, but happy,
Not-So-Princess Lizzy

Amen

The Wonder of Life

Here I am at my aunt's house and I believe I have fallen in love with a little baby.

Have any of you looked at a baby and wished that you could have one. Well I experienced that the last couple of days. The babies name is Kylee and she is my second cousin, although I consider her my niece. The way she looks at you like you are the only thing she cares about and the look of utter trust in her eyes. Nothing can replicate it.

I mean, I recently got a boyfriend, but this is different. You get flutters in your stomach and it is because she is holding your finger with her little hands or even makes those cute little noises that mean absolutely nothing. How anyone can not like babies is beyond me. They are precious! <3

Iknow that babie sare a lot of work, but when you look at one and she looks right back at you with those big blue eyes there is nothing you can do but wish you had one of your own and fall in love. I guess I am being silly, because really, I am 17. I just finished school. But everyone has their dreams right. I want atleast 3 kids. Having one makes them spoiled. Two kids and they fight way too much with each other. Three or four is perfect, but I think five is pushing the limit.

I grew up with 5 brothers. Ya, that's right. Five. It kind of sucked sometimes when I just wanted to watch a chick flick or do something girly and they would all freak out at me. I always thought that God was punishing me for something. I mean, how can a girl grow up around so much testosterone. But I think I came out ok. Maybe having siblings isn't so bad.

Some people had a crappy family, and they survived. I didn't have it to bad and I am thankful every day that I can just be myself, and my family doesn't freak out at me. My prayers goes out to all those girls and boys out there that grew up in a situation different than mine, where they either didn't have a family, or had a terrible one. I am so sorry that you had to experience that at a young age. It isn't fair, but I think what we have to do is move on and discover that yes, not everyone went through that, but since you survived, that means you are strong and can persevere. Your troubles make you into the person you are today.

Little baby Kylee is growing up in a disfunctional family. My cousin and her boyfriend are living together, but don't have enough money for a house so they are staying at my aunt's. The dad is an alcoholic, but is trying to change. No one knows what is going to happen, especially when the mom is Christian and the dad isn't. I am not saying that he is a bad guy, it just causes a lot of arguments in the home.

So as I said, my prayers go out. Families are precious, and too often they aren't treated as such. I am so thankful for my brothers and my parents. They mean so much to me, so if you can, keep your family close.

In love
Not-So-Princess Lizzy <3